The Toil

9/20/10...There is no avoiding The Toil. Sometimes it is like an albatross around our necks or a 2 ton anchor on our shoulders. Our souls long for so much more. Whatever we achieve by means of The Toil is fleeting as is everything else in this world. Our Toil is probably best represented as a Bell-Shaped curve. Some days are terrific, some days are awful, but most days are just average. The terrific days make us feel on top of the world, whatever the reason caused it to be terrific. The awful days make us want to quit, or leave home early, or just give up (but we have to stay because we have to earn a paycheck). The average days are the plentiful ones where most of us live. In the average, there is neither good nor bad. Instead there is just day to day existence. Our souls sink in this realization.

Our souls really long for freedom. For freedom from the MBO. For freedom from the Performance Appaisal. For freedom from never ending Tasks. For freedom from having to Perform. For freedom to live up to Expectations. For freedom from the Bank Account. For freedom from todo Lists. My thoughts roam to a different type of freedom...

For freedom in rest. For freedom in serving. For freedom in something beyond myself. I realize if we are lucky, we find God and Christ. And yet, if we are honest with ourselves, once we have found them or them us, we find The Toil still hangs around our neck like a garlic necklace trying to keep God and Christ away. Even in the spiritual, there is still The Toil, at least here on this earth. This much I know after traveling to China and speaking with those who left it all behind to serve God, only to find The Toil followed them like a diseased shadow halfway around the world.

One day I hope I can remove the garlic necklace that hangs around my neck and experience the true freedom my soul yearns and pants for...My only hope is in Christ. I have no other hope, because in this world there is no other hope...